Full of Grace
by xblondecutieo23
Summary: Dillon and Lulu. What is it about her that amazes me? What is it about her that leaves me breathless and wanting more? A story about the undying love between Lulu Spencer and Dillon Quartermaine. Lion, Lillon, DiLu
1. Don't Forget Me

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **So, this is my first full GH fic. Despite what the beginning will seem like, this will be a Dillon/Lulu fic. I'm not sure how this will go, because of many reasons. One, GH is a soap opera that has new episodes every day, and it's not easy to update. Especially since this is current and not AU. So some things will be added in and go along with the show, some won't.

Basically, this is about love between the couple, the obstacles between them, and the thoughts they have on the present and the past. It is in their point of views, I hope that isn't confusing. I'm not sure if this will even be able to be completed, but I'm doing it anyways.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter One: Don't Forget Me**

I shift in my seat a tad and rest my head onto my propped up fist. I hate to admit it, but the endless documents about business transactions and what not for ELQ are starting to bore me. I hate to admit it, but I'm starting to miss my days in film.

I look up from the lifeless paper to a beautiful girl standing in front of me. Georgie seems interested in a salt shaker that is currently sitting in front of her. I know what she's doing. Often, when she gets bored on a shift, she finds busy work for herself… including refilling the shakers.

"Hey," I say softly, a smile emerging on my face as I see her look up at me.

"You're still here," she says delicately as she looks towards me affectionately. I know that look. I used to live on that look. _Used to _being the operative words here.

"I am," I reply before shuffling some papers together in front of me.

You want me to point back and tell you when this happened? I can't. You want me to name a time when we started to drift apart? I can't. The truth is, I'm not sure, but it happened. Somewhere in the midst of Diego, Lulu and I, the abortion, and Laura, Georgie and I drifted apart. I began spending so much more time with Lulu's affairs, and not nearly enough time with Georgie's.

Would I admit this? Hell no. I may be an honest man, but I'm not stupid. Honestly, I have no idea if I have a future with either of these girls. Who knows, I could end up marrying some other random girl. It could be that girl sitting over there reading that odd looking book. What is that thing anyways?

But, it could be Georgie. Georgie could be the girl that I am meant to spend the rest of my life with, and _that _is why I'm still here.

I'm quickly interrupted from my thoughts as the door opens behind me. It's _her_. How do I know? I have no idea. I just feel it. Every time she nears me I feel it. The wave of sadness, the aura that she carries, the beauty that she gives off, the elegance that flows through my very skin to my bones. That's what I feel. I feel her.

I turn around instinctively to see Lulu Spencer standing a mere foot from me. Her face is graced with a smile that I know is genuine. She's wearing plain jeans, high heeled boots, and nice purple-colored top. With her hair in slight curls, and her lavender-vanilla scent, she draws me in.

What is it about her that amazes me? What is it about her that leaves me breathless and wanting more? I have a girlfriend. She was my wife for god's sake. I've spent the best years of my life with Georgie. We were so sure that we were meant to be together.

But if that was true… why did I feel this way about Lulu? It's so complicated, I don't even know what I feel about Lulu. I keep denying it up and down to Georgie, Maxie, even my own mother. I'm not actually denying it, since I don't know what _it_ is.

All I know is that I keep offering to help her. I keep putting myself into her issues. When she went on that supposed 'ski trip', which I later found out was totally a cover, I was worried sick. I worry myself over her. During the days after her abortion, or with everything involving Laura, I spent countless hours _with_ Lulu, or _thinking_ about Lulu.

So I ask… what is wrong with me? Why don't I ever know exactly what I want?

"Hey Lu," I say very soft, almost inaudible, in hopes that Georgie won't hear my very personal nickname for Lulu. I slowly turn around to see if she has, and to my own surprise, she's gone.

Once again, I'm sure I've upset her. Am I supposed to detach myself from Lulu, and disregard her? I will _not_. We live together! We're practically related! _Eww_, that sounded gross. I take that back. But is it so wrong to talk to her?

I give a slight sigh before quickly turning back to Lulu.

"How are you?" I ask, quite sincerely if I do say so myself. I really want to help her. I wonder if she knows that. Lulu needs someone in this world that she can count on. Her father is completely unreliable. Her brother has way to much to deal with.

I need to be that person she can count on. You could say it's pity, but it's not. I don't know what it is.

"I'm good actually," she says with that wide smile on her face. I've been seeing that appear more frequently now. She's been through so much this year, and to see that smile means the world.

I really think that if she can clear her mother's name, and feel that justice that her mother can't, she may be able to be truly happy. As much as it pains me to say this, I think that last time I saw her happy, excluding when Laura was back, was when we were together.

When I think back now, I know how much she was carrying on her shoulders. She really cared for me, I think she may have loved me, and I didn't show her what she deserves. And then there's the fact that she was lying about Georgie and Diego, so I'm sure that was hard too.

But I don't hold that against her. When you really care for someone, you have to do everything in your power for your chance. Yes, she went about it in a completely wrong way, and I know that she regrets that, but she just wanted to be loved.

"Still no luck with the… uhh," she says and takes a glance around her before continuing, "_thing_," she whispers.

I chuckle a slight bit. She's so cute. I've told her countless times that she's not sneaky. How many adventures have we been on together? She's not sneaky. But it's cute how she tries.

"Don't worry, Lulu, we'll get it. I've got some uhh… some stuff to take care of right now. Let me um," I start as I get the papers together and close up my folder. "Let me get this back to the house, and then I'll help. Spinelli's back now, right?" I ask as I gather my things.

She nods to me with that same smile across her face. "Thanks, Dillon," she says to me as I stand up from my stool.

"I'll see you in a few," I say to her. I mean it. I'll see her in a few. I just keep coming back for more.

I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. Am I getting too involved? Have I _been_ to involved?

I can't save Lulu from herself… I get it. Does that mean I can't try? Even if I don't save her, what if I just be there for her? What if I'm just a friend to her, and keep going on with Georgie as if things are okay… even though we both know they aren't?

I'm responsible for this abortion too. Even if it was based on a lie, I slept with Lulu just as much as she slept with me. And I don't regret that. I don't regret spending time with her. When I told Lulu that I had fun with her and that I would miss her, I meant it!

I don't pity her. She doesn't need to be pitied. She's strong, she's independent. I could justify all my actions and why I get so involved, but maybe it's simply because _I want to._

She's important to me. Even if Georgie is the one that I will be with, Lulu is important to me and I hope that I'm important to her. It will _always_ be that way.

I give her a smile before heading to the door. Realizing my mistake, I turn back and wave to Georgie who is standing behind the counter. She doesn't respond, but I won't push. I leave and I'm on my way to deliver the papers and get to helping Lulu. Even if I shouldn't, it wouldn't be me to not help her with this. I don't know, Lulu could be that girl for me. Is that why I'm so drawn to her?

I have no idea. All I know… is that I'm in for trouble.

* * *

_That's it! What do you think? I'm definitely a review girl. They motivate me. They mean a ton to me! So if you are reading this.. leave me one please! Even a short one. Who knows, it could make me get a new chapter faster. Yes... that is a bribe._


	2. Nine Crimes

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **This would be chapter two. Please review. I love them dearly. They keep me writing. This chapter is in Lulu's POV. They wont go in order… just whoever I think it should be. Therefore, I will state who's POV it is in the author's notes, just in case you can't tell.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Two: Nine Crimes**

I sigh as I fall onto the mattress below me. It has a soft feel. My comforter envelopes me a slight bit and I feel an immediate grow in body warmth. Once again, I'm back to where I started. Back to where I never want to be.

_Alone._

It's funny how one tiny little word can mean so much. My mother's alone… or at least I think so. I don't know. I hope she's not. Wherever she is, I hope she's at peace. She deserves that kind of peace.

I tend to keep myself busy these days. I concern myself with things that don't matter. Hell, I got myself into a mob situation. I was standing in front of Lorenzo freaking Alcazar, being told to come with him. I was in some abandoned warehouse trying to escape guys with guns. I'd say that's keeping myself busy.

It's because I'm alone. I know it, you know it, case closed. My dad's gone. Blah blah. I'm so sick of that story. His children need him. He knows that, but he's gone anyways. That's his thing. I'm not going to go chasing after him. I'm not going to find Dillon and jump on a plane. I'm done.

Now, my new mission is to prove my mother was innocent. Some days, I think it's because I need to busy myself with something else, but I also truly believe that my mother didn't do it. She deserves that justice.

Tonight… tonight I won't busy myself with investigative work on a murder, running from guys with guns, or anything like that, I need rest. However, I'm still sitting in my dark room completely alone. Now I know what I will do.

Tonight I will go to a party. It's New Year's Eve. It's the beginning of 2007 in less than two hours. I heard of a party on the PCU campus. I think that's where I'll go.

I get up off of my comfy bed and look into the mirror on my vanity. My hair is a little tousled. My fingers run through it for a few inches as I straighten it down. I grab a thin, long-sleeved shirt with green and manila colored stripes on it, and throw it over the white shirt I currently have on. I spray a quick squirt of my perfume, and I'm on my way. What shall the brainless students of PCU bring to me tonight?

**

* * *

**

I down a small sip of the drink that's currently in my hand. A small sip, that's it. If I do plan to have a little fun tonight, I'm not going to get completely wasted. I've decided that I wouldn't do that again. I'm quite proud of myself actually.

I look over to see my professor standing across from a girl, a girl who looks my age. It's so pathetic. Why does he feel the need to concern himself with the student's out-of-class activities? Maybe I feel a slight bit of resentment towards him for getting me involved with the Alcazar/Jason/Sonny thing, even if it was a little fun.

Hmm, I keep forgetting to ask him why he was involved in that. I'm still a little confused on the whole thing. But whatever, I'm not busying myself with his problems either.

I roll my eyes a slight bit, enjoying my sarcastic mood. I'm quite intrigued, though, as I see him hand a small piece of paper to the brunette, and then see the face of Georgie. She should know not to get involved him. Dillon hates that guy. I'm still not sure why.

I decided to ignore it. I can do better. I can find something more interesting than Georgie's dramatics to get myself occupied with. Then again, this party is way lame. I'm quite bored.

I take a glance around the party to spot any familiar faces under the loads of shimmery hats. Maybe Spinelli is here?

I feel a very light tap on my shoulder and turn myself around to see what mindless guy will be talking to me. I'll say I'm waiting for someone, he'll roll his eyes and walk away.

Instead, I turn around to see Dillon standing in front of me.

"Hey Dillon," I say with a sincere smile displaying on my face.

He's not wearing his glasses today. I happen to think that he looked cute with those glasses on, but it just wasn't him. His hair is more loose, and his clothes are somewhat old school Dillon. It looks like he's starting to form more of his old appearance.

I can tell he misses that. He misses the old him, as do I. I still like the Dillon he is now, but I fell in love with the old Dillon. The real Dillon.

"Hey Lulu," he says to me, also smiling. It's his real smile. "Here for the big party?" he asks me as he takes a look around at all the drunk college kids.

"Yeah, I guess. I was bored at home," I say as I shrug the weight of my shoulders.

I see him take a quick glance down at my hand and the contents it's enclosing. He's eyeing the drink. I know that he knows not to worry about me. He knows that I'm doing better now.

The last time he saw me at one of these parties, I wasn't the same. I was angry and hurt about my abortion. I was drunk, making out with a random guy, and hurting his girlfriend. This one is different, and he knows that. I can tell.

I should reassure him a little though. I take a step closer to him and place my index finger onto his chest.

"I'm not getting wasted Dillon, don't worry," I tell him with a confident smile on my face before removing my finger that is poking into his chest.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him in a quick attempt the change the subject.

He gives me a smile. "I was bored at home," he repeats my earlier line. It's cute. The smirk on his face… it's cute.

"I didn't have anything to do. Georgie told me about this party, she thought it would be fun," he shrugs to me. I understand. Georgie's still new to the whole college experience. We've been here for one semester, Dillon's been here longer. Both Dillon and I are over the thrill… I understand.

"Have you seen her?" he asks and I shift my body a few inches to see her still standing next to Pete. To tell Dillon or not to tell? That is the question.

Somehow he senses my turning in body language, and follows my eyes to his girlfriend. I can hear his very quiet sigh.

"I'll see you later?" he asks me and exits my presence before giving me a chance to reply.

"Yeah," I say to myself as I turn back around. I take a look around at all the people at this party, and suddenly become even more aware of how alone I am.

**

* * *

**

I swish the drink around the little red cup. It's been awhile now. I've seen Dillon keep a possessive hold on Georgie, followed by arguing with our professor. I've seen Georgie say a few things, Pete smile, and then leave. I've seen Dillon turn to Georgie and start arguing with her.

That's where I am now. Standing alone at a party, watching two of my friends, if they are even my friends, arguing back and forth. They've been at it for awhile. It's involved lots of eye rolls, hand gestures, and loud voices.

I wonder who will be the first to get fed up and walk away. I hate to say it, but they've done a lot more of that recently. The arguing. Sometimes, I even think I hear a little of it about me. I walk in to Kelly's and see Georgie slightly fuming, then quickly look up at me and immediately stop talking.

That's kind of rude, I tell myself. Then again, who cares? I've done worse to her. May I remind myself that I lied about her being a lying whore, stole her husband from her, got pregnant with her husbands baby, and then gave that up possibly causing him to completely change his personality.

But, I still don't think that one was my fault. I'm not in denial or something, I'm not that type of girl, but we both needed that abortion and how he handled it was completely up to him.

I've had many mistakes in the past, and I'm working on doing better now. I take pride in the fact that their current argument isn't about me. Or at least… I think it's not. Why would it be? I haven't done anything tonight. I take a look around me. Yes, I've been a good girl tonight.

I see Georgie throw her hands up in defeat, before literally running away from Dillon and out of the room. I roll my eyes. That'd be something like round 142... I've lost count.

"Hey Lulu," I hear someone say and notice that Dillon is now standing next to me.

He probably thinks I'm some pathetic girl with no friends who's been standing by herself bored out of her mind. Oh wait, I _am_.

"Hey Dillon," I say and turn my body and attention towards him. "I saw the… umm…" I point to some random thing in the direction that they had previously been standing in.

He nods as his head falls back a little while giving a sigh.

"Yeah… she was uhh," he starts but quickly stops his accusation, which I think is considered as progress.

"Whatever," he finishes abruptly. I smile to him.

"It's New Year's Eve, everyone gets a litte crazy. It could be a full moon or something," I say, trying to manage some sort of excuse for Georgie. We both know what's going on. Dillon and Georgie are drifting apart. They have been for awhile, but it doesn't hurt to help him deny it.

I hear numorous shouts of numbers begin. "10, 9, 8," I hear being yelled, before realizing that it's the countdown to midnight. "7, 6, 5," it continues. I give a fun smile to Dillon as he chuckles, and we both join in. "3, 2, 1!"

There's lots of shouting, things being thrown around and loud, squeaky paper toys being blown. I turn my gaze from the crowd back to Dillon and send him a happy smile. He places one of his hands on the side of my arm and lowers his head, leaving a soft kiss on my cheek.

It's shameful. I want to actually kiss him. Real lip on lip kiss. I assure myself that it's just the spirit of New Years, and that everyone in a fifty foot radius is kissing someone.

We couldn't actually kiss each other anyways. That would be completely wrong. _Right?_


	3. Beyond Repair

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **This is the third chapter, and is in Dillon's POV. If you aren't caught up on the show recently, a few things might be confusing, but you should be fine. Oh and also, I forgot to mention that all chapters(well usually) are song titles. Most come from Sarah McLachlan or Jimmy Eat World, cause um that's what I picked for this story. But if you ever want to know… well just ask.

Also, it's been a couple weeks since I've updated, and a lot has happened with Dillon and Lulu. As I've said, some things in this fic will go along with the show, and I will find a way to include them. Others, wont, and they wont be mentioned. So a few things from the show are put in here. Transcripts are from TV Mega Site.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Three: Beyond Repair**

"I can kiss my ELQ internship goodbye. You know how hard it's going to be to get those credits without it?" I say with a slight resemblance of bitterness displayed on my face.

"Well then why did you do that?" she asks me, the curiosity clear on her features.

"Because I told you I would distract them while you looked for evidence. I came up with the most outrageous thing I could think of… and it worked," I tell her with complete honesty. Hey, I'm a man of my word!

"You did that for me?" she asks as she looks at me intently. She looks like it's so unbelievable that I would help her. I mean, god it's her mother we're talking about. Of course I'd do it for her.

I look up at her, the beautiful girl sitting across from me, and give her one great smile. I've noticed that she's been looking a lot more at my eyes lately; I wonder if it was the glasses.

"Lulu," I start, speaking very softly with what I do believe is a slight glow on my face.

She has to understand that I'm not letting her down. So yeah, I can't exactly go running off with her and throw my college life down the drain to prove her mom's innocence, but I'm going to help her in any way I can. Just like I've always done… she has to know that. Right?

"Of course," I say to her, leaving a smile firmly positioned on my face. I think she looks… comforted by my words. I think that's a good thing.

I feel a little weird in the situation. I mean, it's Lulu Spencer. She's the one person I don't have to hide myself from. I can be honest with her. It's never weird between the two of us. I think it was New Year's. Yeah… that has to be it.

Things still haven't settled between Georgie and I, and to be quite honest, I'm not sure they will. I'm not sure they've been settled for awhile now. Things are always in the way. Things are just never right between us. I wonder if that has anything to do with Lulu and I.

People keep asking me about her. The Jackal… I mean Spinelli, questioned me about her the other day. He told me something about my feelings for Lulu. I said he was crazy.

And then there's my mother, she's always on my case. I think that she thinks I'm going to get Lulu pregnant again or something. I'm not sure. But she's also been questioning my relationship with Lulu.

I don't feel the need to answer anymore. If they can't understand that Lulu is important to me, and that I will always care about her, then they don't deserve an answer. I hate to think it, but that goes for Georgie, too.

I know I can get a little jealous of things occasionally, but this has nothing to do with it. I hate that professor guy! The fact that she's still 'hanging out' with him angers me. But that's a whole other story. The fact is that I overhead Maxie saying that Georgie was out really late at his apartment.

Anyways that's not important. What is it important… is Lulu, and apparently whatever Georgie is working on with "Pete". So if she can't understand the situation(meaning that she gets angry about me and Lulu, but also gets angry with me when I ask her about the professor), then maybe we have more problems than I realized.

"Dillon," Lulu calls to me, seeming like she's getting a little frustrated or impatient. I look up at her somewhat expectantly, wondering how long I've been thinking.

"You still here?" she asks me and chuckles a slight bit. I can sense her tone of joking.

Every time I'm around her things for so light and comfortable. It's nice to be around someone, even someone who has caused a lot of my pain and drama this past year, where I don't have to deal with anything. I can just be me.

I nod to her reassuringly, letting her know that I'm listening. "Yeah," I say as I continue to nod my head. "What were you saying?" I ask her.

"I was saying," she starts, before pausing. Her fingers are trailing up and down the glass, and I realize that someone has already brought our drinks. She's quiet. It's a serious quiet… like she's contemplating what the words will be that come out of her mouth in a few seconds.

I notice her somewhat shrug to herself. I wish I could tell what she's thinking, because I'm really not sure these days.

"I was saying," she repeats, this time more sure of herself. "Thank you," she finishes and sends me a convincing smile. I'm not sure if I'm buying it or not. For some reason, I just get the feeling that she was going to say something different.

"I should get going," she tells me as she stands up from the table and wraps her jacket around herself. "You might want to talk to Georgie," she informs me as she points to my current girlfriend standing behind the counter who is eyeing us suspiciously. Oh yeah, I forgot to say… what gives her the right?!

"She looks really mad about something."

Lulu gives me a smile, and I can tell she's being appreciative. It's nice to see this look on her. It makes me feel like all this investigating is doing something _other than_ giving Lulu false hope and causing problems in my relationship.

I return the smile, and watch as she walks out and into the cold. I stand up as I prepare myself for the drama that is about to ensue. I realize that Georgie had shown up sometime while I was with Lulu, and obviously trapped in my own thoughts. As if we don't have enough problems now, she probably thought I was ignoring her for Lulu.

The real problem is… what if I _am_?

**

* * *

**

I'm stuck in a dilemma. A few of them actually. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. Time flies by too fast, or maybe people are just moving too fast. My mom keeps questioning me on Lulu, and on what we are doing together. Honestly, I don't have answers anymore.

"Lu, I'm here. I'm helping, okay?" I tell her, wondering why she is getting so jumpy. I'm dealing with a lot these days, and I know she is too, but come on.

"Well, it's too late, Dillon. I've been up here for, like, an hour looking through floorboards and drawers and boxes, and all I found were a bunch of spider webs and two really attractive dead rats, and nothing that proves that anybody _but_ my mom killed Rick Webber," she explains to me, still in a very not-so-nice tone. I don't like it.

"Oh, okay. So, you know, you hit a dead end. Big deal, it happens. It wouldn't be called a mystery if it were easy to solve," I explain, and realize that it came out just a little condescending. Oops. I hope she didn't pick up on that.

"Well, I wonder how you would feel if your mom went crazy over something that she didn't do," she tells me.

I feel a small something inside of me snap. I just can't take anymore. It's not Lulu, she really hasn't done anything wrong. It's everything. It's Lulu and this mystery, it's my grandfather and ELQ, and it's Georgie.

I really can't explain how upset I am with Georgie. She just keeps finding ways to pin any blame on me that she can. She points out any fault in me that she can find. She's not being supportive. If she knew what we were doing, well actually I don't know how she would react. I don't really know her at all anymore.

I'm tired of getting into these arguments with her. I'm just tired of it.

"Wow. Okay. Uh… not that it matters, but my mom's a little busy right now driving me crazy. You know my grandfather hired Sam McCall, Jason's girlfriend, to be his, like, assistant?" I ask her.

"I know who Sam McCall is, Dillon," she quickly says to me, seeming very frustrated. Now it's my turn.

"Okay. Well, maybe you didn't know, then, that my grandfather's practically paying Sam to have Jason's baby, and my mom's freaking out because if Jason and Sam have said baby, the rest of the Quartermaines, including myself, may as well not exist," I say quickly and take a deep breathe to continue before she cuts me off. I really need to get this out!

"And my mom spent god knows how long giving me a lecture on how she's going to save my inheritance, and I ditched her… I came here to help you. And not that I would, you know, expect someone like you to appreciate that or thank me, but it'd be nice if you didn't bite my head off," I tell her, my voice escalating with every word I speak.

"Okay, Dillon. Dillon, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I am just… I'm really frustrated right now, okay? I thought we were getting somewhere, and I stupidly left that datebook in my backpack-" she starts to say, before I intentionally interrupt her. It's starting to become a habit with us.

"Lulu, you're not stupid," I tell her reassuringly, and damn well mean it. I'm so sick of her thinking that she is less than she is! She needs to keep it together if we want to prove her mom's innocence.

"I just… I'm not … I'm not mad at you. I am mad at me because this is really important. It's the only thing that my mom has ever asked me to do, and I'm completely blowing it," she explains, and I really start to realize why she is upset. I'm pretty sure I would feel the same way.

I watch as she gives a deep sigh, and to me, it looks like she's starting to give up. That's just not acceptable to me… after all I am a Quartermaine.

"Okay, so you hit a setback. It's okay. Great screenplays are full of them. Now, as our protagonist, you have two choices. You can either walk away, or you can move on. Now, I vote for moving on."

I look towards her with a very sincere, and serious, smile on my face. I mean it. We can do this! I feel like I need to tap into some old Confucian powers, and give her one powerful quote.

"Me, too," she states quietly, and I realize I have won. It's very hard to win a battle with Lulu Spencer, and I just did. If I can do that, I know we can find Rick Webber's real killer.

**

* * *

**

I sigh as I fall into the chair in front of me. It's been a very long day. I kept my family in close quarters so Lulu could go snooping, once again. It was fun, actually. And that's where the long part came in. I told Lulu the truth. And I think, finally, I told myself the truth. My life isn't ELQ and business, my life is film and adventure.

She was so understanding. She was happy for me, I could see it. It's when I look towards her and saw that smile on her face, that I realized that I'm in trouble.

I realized what Spinelli told me the other day. While I'm being honest with myself, I must admit, I was jealous. When Milo showed up at Jason's, and Lulu was flirting with him, I was jealous. I sent him off quickly, and pulled out some excuse from my ass, that I can't even remember now. Back before this whole thing began, when she was hanging around her professor, I was jealous!

I didn't tell this to Georgie. How could I? It's not exactly something you say to your girlfriend. 'Oh hey Georgie. I love you, but I'm jealous of Lulu with other guys and I think I might still have feelings for her. Want to grab a bite to eat?'

Yeah. I see that going _real _well.

I did tell her, however, about my recent enlightenment. She's wanted me to go back to film and the real me for awhile now. I finally understand what she was saying. She seemed so happy and thankful. Almost like it fixed everything.

How could it? There's so much to fix right now. I want her to stop spending time with the professor, and she wants me to stop spending time with Lulu. Which I won't. Lulu and I are still trying to solve this, and Georgie is dealing with a lot of Maxie issues.

I tell you, right when I think this girl couldn't get any crazier… she tells everyone that she lied about being pregnant and faked a miscarriage. I have to say, that's just a little psychotic.

The point is, too much is going on right now for things between Georgie and I to just be fixed with the snap of a finger. And some days… I think we might just be beyond repair.


	4. Lay Me Down, I'm Lonely

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **So obviously I'm not a mind-reader, and I don't know what's going to happen this week. But I want to get this chapter out now, because I know I won't have time during the week.

So, in the next chapter I might be adding things from the whole hostage situation, but it won't be exact as the show. Because, well, this is my fic and it's a different thing from the show. However, I like the idea of Lulu's part in the storyline, so I may put that in in the next chapter. So you may see something that is alike, or isn't alike at all.

This is Lulu's POV.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Four: Lay Me Down, I'm Lonely**

I squint my eye's a little, hoping it might be a little intimidating. I shuffle my arms out of each other, and bring one up to the counter so I can rest my chin on it. I'm still looking at her, and I'm still doing the narrowed eyes, furrowed brows thing. I, Lulu Spencer, can be intimidating.

Want to know why I'm suddenly looking like a confused stalker? It's because Georgie is doing the exact same thing. Please someone give her some drugs. An anti-depressant, a muscle relaxant, even some vodka might do the trick. She's totally crazy, I tell you.

I mean, what is her problem? Maybe I have something in my teeth. Smoothly, I move my hand from my chin to my mouth in an attempt to cover it, and slowly feel across the gum line. Nope. _Zilch_.

I remove my hand from covering my mouth, and offer a smile. Her lips curl into a slight smile, and I can tell it's fake. It's like plastic, Barbie doll fake.

"What can I get you?" she asks me, and in a very un-polite manner, I might add. I should report her for being rude and disrespectful. I take a glance around on the counter to see if they have any of those small white forms that you fill out. It could be amusing.

"How 'bout a Dr. Pepper?" I say, and it comes out more like a question than a statement. That's not what I usually get when I come here. What can I say… I'm not hungry.

I watch as she turns her back and walks away, not even giving me the usual "Coming right up."

Rude.

I wonder what it is. Is she mad at me? That has to be it. But what did I do to her? So I may have been going overboard with the Maxie insults lately, but hey, don't I always? Besides, when you have a lying slut for a sister, you should get used to it.

No, it can't be that. I can tell she's bored of arguing with me over Maxie. No, it has to be something different. Let's see, I haven't kissed her boyfriend, I haven't gotten pregnant, I haven't been playing Nancy Drew in her attic with Dillon. Oh wait, yes I have. But that's nothing new, we've been doing that for weeks.

No, it's something else.

I hear my name, and quickly swivel around on my seat. Dillon is walking towards me, with a bigger-than-normal smile on his face. My eyes slowly narrow into slits as I study him. Something is off about him lately. He doesn't act as comfortable around me. Ah, I get it. Maybe him and Georgie got in a fight again. Maybe it was about me!

That's why Georgie looks so annoyed with me. Well jeez Girl, it's not _my_ fault. She can be so dense sometimes. I slightly roll my eyes at this.

"Dillon," I reply with a smile as he sits himself down next to me. "What are you doing here?" I ask him, in a nice way. No, I'm not like his whiny, be-mean-to-innocent-people-for-no-reason girlfriend; I'm polite.

"Uh Lulu, it's one o'clock," he informs he, and I turn to the large clock on the wall, seeing that he is indeed correct. "I'm here for lunch," he further explains. I give a nod.

"What are _you_ doing here?" I hear him ask me as I turn back in my seat to face forward.

"I was bored. Figured I could stop in, eat, and watch weird people or something. Turns out I'm not hungry," I tell him and shrug my shoulders a little.

"So I guess you just get to settle with watching 'weird people'," he says, in what I can tell is a slightly mocking tone. I chuckle a little bit and cock my head to the side, and use my eyes to point to an older lady in the corner.

She's looking at what I think is a newspaper. It's folded into a weird form of origami. She's holding a cup of coffee in her other hand, and she's doing this thing with her mouth to where her top and bottom lips switch from being on top to underneath the other. This is causing her whole face to make weird expressions.

Dillon and I both giggle slightly and cover our mouths, quickly turning back so we are hiding our amusement and try to stop laughing. We're horrible people, I know.

I continue to give muffled giggles, before I realize that Georgie is now standing in front of us and Dillon is no longer laughing. He now has a very serious look on his face, and Georgie has the same scowl she had earlier.

"Hey," I hear him say softly.

I _almost_ feel bad for Georgie. I mean, he doesn't sound at all happy to see her, and his tone couldn't be less affectionate. I wonder what's going on with them. I look to my side a little, hoping maybe I can run for the exit and get out of this place before they start arguing. There's only so much a girl can take!

Dillon is still eyeing me though, and now I can see that Georgie is also looking at me. So much for a quick exit. She places the glass of Dr. Pepper in front of me. I smile to her, and as soon as she looks back over to Dillon, I inch towards the glass and sniff it a little. Oh wait, does _rat poison _have a smell? Because that's what I think it might contain.

Daringly, I go ahead and take a sip of my drink and look up at the wall to see if any decorations can capture my attention. I hear him ask Georgie how she is doing, and her reply with a mumble that I think was "fine". She then says something about getting back to work, before I look back at the couple and see Georgie walking into the back of the place.

"What was that about?" I ask him curiously. Call me nosy, but I really want to find out what's going on.

"Uh, it was just-" he starts, and stops himself as if he's pondering what he's going to say.

Okay, _seriously _people! What is going on? Is it me? Why are they acting so weird lately? I've had it with this. I need to go find Motor-Mouth-Maxie. She will tell me what's going on. Unless she's too busy stalking my brother and faking pregnancies.

"Actually, um, I don't know what it is," he finishes, and I roll my eyes slightly. Maybe I am the elephant in the room.

"Oh really?" I question him, and am met with a nod. Hmm, time to get down to business. "Well, she seems mad at you. Actually, she seems mad at _me_," I say, adding in the last part quietly. I am so over all of this crap. Georgie can be so freaking overdramatic sometimes.

"I don't know, Lulu. Uh, I thinks she's still upset about that whole uh, thing… from New Year's Eve," he tells me. I nod in understanding. So Georgie is upset that Dillon and I are hanging out and that Dillon doesn't want her around the professor.

Hmm, what was it? Oh yeah… _overdramatic._

"It's become like on big blur of fighting," he says, and I really understand it. It's all in his tone. He's tired of it too.

"Did you tell her about quitting ELQ and going back to film? I'm sure she was happy," I ask him, not quite understanding why she is so upset. You'd think she would be thrilled.

"Yeah, but I, uh, kind of told her, that it was you that, um, well that you helped me realize it. I think she got upset again," he informs me, and I begin to laugh a little at his stupidity. Still, it was a nice thing to hear from him.

"Anyways, you want to get out of here?" he asks me, and nod my head quickly and stand up from my stool.

"Yeah, I don't have anymore classes today. But please, I can not handle any more of 'solving the mystery' right now. It's getting a little to much for my head," I tell him while chuckling a little bit.

"Yeah, that's fine. We can, uh, let's go see a movie or something," he says. I nod my head in agreement, before pulling cash out of my purse and placing it on the counter. I barely even drank my drink, but oh well. Really, I didn't want to be here in the first place. I was just bored and lonely like I have been a lot lately.

This is horrible to say, but I'm alone a lot these days. Nothing great to do, or to look forward to… except Dillon.

When I'm around him, I have fun. I forget that I'm completely alone and that I have no one. When I'm around him, I really feel like I have someone that I can go to. I really shouldn't be feeling this way. Dillon and I were an emotional disaster, so feeling like I can depend on him really doesn't help anything.

We walk towards the door, and I feel it after he has stepped through and I am about to. Georgie is watching us.

_Great. _Another reason for her to be annoyed by me. But really, I don't care anymore. This whole thing between them now… not _my_ fault.

**

* * *

**

"What's wrong?" I here him ask me. I move the small plastic spoon away from the clump of ice cream it's currently touching, to another small bit on the other side of my bowl. I wonder how he can tell that something is wrong. I guess he just knows me that well.

"It's nothing," I tell him, offering up a very convincing smile as we continue to walk down the street. We finished at the movie and decided to get some ice cream, seeing how neither of us really have lives and had nothing to do.

"Lu, something's wrong. Tell me," he demands in a very soft, soothing tone. I makes me want to spill my heart out. To tell him that I miss my mom, and my dad. That no matter how fast we figure out this Rick Webber thing, I finally realize that she isn't coming back again. To tell him that I really _don't _have anyone.

"It's just, I was thinking about my mom. And this thing with Rick Webber and proving my mom was innocent. I just, I guess I realized that she isn't coming back, no matter how hard I wish it. I mean, after four years I accepted it, and then she came back again. And now… well it might take me four years to accept it again," I explain, saying all my words in a soft tone. I hope he understands. I really need someone to.

He nods as his pace becomes slower until he eventually stops walking. I stop a few feet ahead of him, after realizing that he is standing there, and come back to him.

"I get it," he says in a comforting tone. "I do. And, if you, uh, well, I'm here for you Lulu. I know a lot has happened between us, but I care about you. Like I said, you matter to me. And if you need someone, well I'm here," he explains to me. I look up staring him in the eye, and I know that he's telling the truth. That he means it.

My lips slowly curve into a smile, and I think I might be forming a small tear in my eye. As we both look at each other, I feel him envelop me into a comforting hug, and for once in a really long time, I realize that I'm not completely alone.


	5. Elsewhere

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **I've decided… as of now I'm not putting any of the current GH stuff in, except a charity dinner which is kind of like the thing at the Metro Court. No hostage thing though.

This chapter is in Lulu's POV, so what people are saying will be what she is hearing… and not necessarily what they are thinking. Just so you know. (Hint. Hint.) This is doing a lot of setup for the next chapter, which I can't wait to write! At first I was worried this was all going to be cheesy, but then I remembered I'm writing a soap opera here and anything goes.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Five: Elsewhere**

_Humph_. I rolls my eyes as I push the twenty-third dress back onto it's rack. I am beginning to think I will never find one. In all honesty, I don't care. I'm not really looking forward to it anyway.

It's a charity dinner. I think. I'm not sure. We have so many of these things all the time, they just blend together. I'm beginning to wish I had no ties with any of the Quartermaines, or anyone involved with General Hospital. Then maybe I wouldn't get stuck doing these things.

No surprise, it's a formal thing. Tracy sent me and Dillon to go shop for our clothes a little while ago, and guess who had to tag along? Georgie. I swear she hates me. I don't know what I've done to her, but she hates me now.

I look over and see her and Dillon standing together. I'm thinking of an escape plan. I need to bail. I'm the third wheel right now, and I hate it. I think I'm just going to take off and have Elizabeth pick up something for me to wear. I hear her and Lucky are going together. I hope they are getting back together.

I continue my search through an assortment of pink, blue, white, teal, red, green, magenta, beige, and grey dresses. Out of the corner of my eye I see Georgie's arms fly up in what looks like defeat. She's rolling her eyes, and folding her arms across her chest.

_Great_. Another fight.

I make my way completely around the corner and get a little bit closer as I pretend to look the through the racks of formal wear.

"all the time…" I hear Georgie say in a hushed voice. Oh _wow_. Real juicy. I roll my eyes at their lack of entertainment.

I hear Dillon mention Georgie's professors name(since I barely attend class anymore, he's not really my professor.) It's then that I realize what this argument is about. It's the same thing over and over again.

Georgie complains about me, Dillon complains about Pete.

I push the clothes back onto the rack, and move down a few. I can hear everything now, although I'm sure I look like some 40 year old male stalker. Then again, Georgie's too preoccupied with her dress-picking and yelling to see me, and Dillon has his back turned to me.

"Every single second I turn around, she's there… with _you_," Georgie says, and now I am one hundred percent sure this is about me. It would be quite amusing to interrupt right now, and see Georgie get upset, but instead I hold back and continue to listen.

"Georgie, I already told you this. I love you. I don't like Lulu in that way," I hear Dillon say, and to my surprise, I feel a slight pain in my stomach.

I guess I haven't really thought about Dillon lately. I try to avoid that. I think I will always have those feelings for him, but I had accepted that maybe we were just meant to be good friends.

I thought I had accepted it… so why do I still feel this sharp pain at his words?

"I'm going to go try this on," Georgie states and quickly runs away. I take this opportunity to talk to Dillon, and tap him on the shoulder.

"Hey," I say. "What was that about?" I ask him, not bothering to tell him what I've heard.

Dillon quickly turns around. He seems a little jumpy. I wonder what it is. "That was umm… uh, well that was the same thing it's always been," Dillon says and shoves the tie, that he is holding, back onto it's rack.

"Let me guess," I start to say, and bring my index finger to my chin and pretend to contemplate what I'm going to say. "She's upset that I'm around you too much," I finish, even though I already know the answer.

He nods his head as lets out a loud sigh. "I guess she wants me to stay away from you or something," he says before turning away from me and walks a little further in search for something. I don't know what it is, he already has his clothes in his arms. Maybe he's avoiding going to the dressing room.

"Does she think we are having some secret affair?" I ask him rhetorically and give a sigh as I focus my attention back a few dresses in front of me.

"I bet she's going to have a restraining order against me once you guys have kids. She probably wont let me even be around them!" I say, before realizing that I just said they were going to have kids.

Maybe that's it. Maybe Georgie is still mad that Dillon got _me_ pregnant.

"What did you tell her?" I ask him, a bit curious as to what he is going to say to me. I turn to him slightly, and see that he is avoiding my gaze.

"I said we are friends. And then she left," he tells me, and I see that this was the first little white lie I have caught Dillon telling in a long time.

I give a sigh as I realize all the unintentional damage I have caused. I grab the dress that I had just been looking at. It's really ordinary. It's a light silky purple that reaches a little above the knee. I don't even bother to try it on.

"I'm gonna go check out and head home," I tell him and manage a smile. The dress will have to do because I just want out of here.

I get past the check out, outside of the shop, and halfway home before I realize that Dillon actually hurt me a bit. It's been so long since I've felt that way. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so alone lately and Dillon is comforting, or if I do still have feelings for him? I think I might. _Oh no_… god please help me!

**

* * *

**

I tap my feet as I look around annoyed. Could this _be_ any more boring? I guess I'm a cynic, but this people are utterly annoying. Well, not all of them. But still.

We're not even eating! I thought this was a charity dinner, and _I'm_ not getting food. Everyone's standing around talking. I'm ready eat, and then maybe I can hurry and get out of here.

I see that Lucky and Elizabeth are standing together talking, and that makes me feel a little bit better. Lucky loves her so much, I hate to see him hurting. Nikolas is with Emily, and I'm equally happy that they are back together. Nikolas deserves to have everything he wants.

Robin is standing with Patrick Drake, Alan is with Monica, Dillon is with Georgie. It seems like everyone is paired off. Everyone has someone… except me.

I look over to the only other person I see who is alone right now, and it's Tracy Quartermaine. _Great_, I'm going to be Tracy; bitter and alone. Maybe I should go talk to her. We'll both be less alone, and it will look like I am making some sort of effort, even though I'm really not. Maybe I could even find out what this dinner is for.

I decide against it. Tracy tends to be a little too annoying, and I'm already irritated enough right now. I fold my arms across my chest, adjust the spaghetti strap on my shoulder, and lean against the wall with my upper back and head. I slowly close my eyes and wish myself somewhere else.

I consider clicking my sparkly heels. Hey, it worked for Dorothy, why not me?

Sadly, I know I'm stuck here, and this is going to be a long night. Maybe I can grab some alcohol somewhere. Wait, these people are doctors… how 'bout a sedative? Then again, I'm completely bored, so I don't need anything to calm me down.

I'm awakened from my daydreams as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I quickly tense up and open my eyes, ready to hit whoever it is in case it's some weirdo person. Thankfully, I see Dillon in front of me.

"Not quite the party girl tonight?" he asks me, and I give a small snort of laughter in complete sarcasm.

"Some_ party_," I tell him, receiving a laugh from him also. "I've been dreaming of ways to bail without any noticing," I say to him, completely honest.

"Not that it would make much of a difference if I was gone," I add in very quiet, almost inaudible.

I can tell Dillon heard me. He slightly rolls his eyes, I'm guessing at my lack of enthusiasm, but I see his real emotion in his eyes. They are conveying what he really wants to say but knows he shouldn't. (He tends to do that a lot!) It's a soft expression, and seems like he's pained that I'm alone and wishes that I was happier.

"How is it going for you?" I ask quickly to change the subject.

He gives me a shrug and averts his gaze to something in the direction of what I think is his mom. Well, that's where she was ten minutes ago.

"Where's Georgie?" I ask in an another attempt for an answer of some sort.

He shrugs once again, and this time I let out a loud groan so he can now that I'm a little annoyed. "She uhh… went somewhere," he says, and finally looks back to me. I give him an expectant look, knowing there is more to it than that.

"Well, I kind of mentioned that you uhh… that you looked kind of bored alone and maybe we should come over to you, and she got upset I guess," he tells me.

I nod my head to him in acknowledgement. Honestly, I'm getting as sick of this as they are. I don't understand how I keep getting them into these fights when I'm not even doing anything! And I don't understand how Georgie can be so upset at me all the time when I haven't done anything.

Hello, not my fault! Is she that moody? Maybe I should get her some Midol or something. This is just plain annoying. Maybe I should find her and give her a good talkin' to.

"Well, it looks like they are seating for dinner now so you should go get her. I think she's over there with Robin," I say to him as I point over in a direction of a group of people where it looks like Georgie is. Everyone's starting to seat now… I wonder who I'm going to be sitting with.

Oh _no_. Not Tracy!

Dillon nods in agreement as he looks over to the group of people seating, but I can tell he's thinking about something else. He turns to me, and I'm a little surprised that he's still here with me.

He extends his hand out to me before saying, "Lulu Spencer, would you like to have dinner with me?"

Against my own judgment, I agree. He leads me to a small, two person table where we are sitting across from each other. I avoid looking in Georgie's direction, and suddenly realize why she's always so upset with me. I'm sitting at her table, for her date, with her boyfriend.


	6. Sweet Surrender

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **Next chapter. Dillon's POV. This chapter is longer than most. I debated splitting in in half and ending it after a certain part, but then each chapter would only be like three pages. So I went ahead and kept this. I also debated over whether or not this was too fast, but I hate dragging things out for years and years, people get bored. So really let me know what you think. If you were to ever review, this would be the time.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Six: Sweet Surrender**

"Are you okay?"

I continue to slowly take steps in front of me, walking with the light breeze on me. Actually, it's a little too warm for Port Charles in the middle of winter. I'm not complaining.

I look over to Lulu, still awaiting an answer. She seems to be somewhere else mentally right now. Maybe this quiet walk home I suggested wasn't such a good idea. She nods her head after a few minutes of silence, and I try to guess what she's thinking about.

"Food was good," I say quietly in hopes of sparking a conversation. She's not usually like this. Usually she's so comfortable around me. She's the one person that I never feel weird around. I'm always content with her. Tonight, it's not that case. She seems on edge about something.

"Yup," she mumbles, without any enthusiasm. Maybe I should get her some ice cream. If there's one thing I know about Lulu Spencer, it's that she never passes up ice cream.

We're closer to home now, and I see that something's caught her eye. She's staring at the boathouse as we walk by it. I decide against saying anything, but immediately stop as I see that she has done so. I'm not quite sure what she's thinking.

"Dillon," she states in what I can tell is a very stressed voice. "This night was-" she starts, but I quickly catch on to the negative strain in her voice, and I know I should say something.

"Great," I say, cutting her off. Her arms drop to her side as she lets out a mild frustrated sigh. I guess I was the only one having an amazing night. Maybe she isn't as comfortable with me as I am with her. Maybe she doesn't think about me in the way that I think about her.

It's been about two and a half weeks since I realized that I was jealous of other guys around Lulu, about two weeks since I told her I would always be there for her, and about a week and two days since I realized I still have feelings for my step-sister(that's assuming my mom hasn't divorced Luke yet) and ex-girlfriend, Lulu.

"I was going to say it was a _mistake_," she tells me sadly, and my curiosity is definitely piqued. I look towards her eyes, giving an expectant look for more of an explanation. _Oh_ yes. I'm staring her down.

I see her attention wander back to the boathouse, and I think I get it. Maybe it's not me that was a mistake. I know she feels horrible about everything she did last summer, and I'm guessing that mine and Lulu's little date tonight wasn't too fun for Georgie. Maybe that's what has Lulu upset.

"It's just… well maybe I should be investigation this Rick Webber thing _alone_," she says, and it's quite obvious she's beating around the bush.

"Lulu," I state in a tone as if I'm telling her she's wrong and she doesn't need to worry about it.

"No Dillon, it's not right. Georgie has been so upset with you for the past month. You two keep getting in these fights… and it's because of me. I screwed up your relationship with her last time, and I'd be pretty selfish to do it again because I want your help or depend on you for something," she rambles.

Honestly, I think it's kind of cute when she does that. She just spits whatever comes into her head out of her head, and she talks a mile a minute.

"I don't blame her for not trusting me! I broke you two up last time. I lied to everyone, and I got pregnant!" she continues, and by now I am rolling my eyes and staring at something in the trees. We've been over this a thousand times; I don't hold that against her anymore.

"She has a right to not trust me and if she doesn't want me around you then I shouldn't be around you! Even though she has nothing to worry about right? I mean, you told her that you didn't feel that way about me."

_Whoa! _Double take! A: She _heard_ me? And B: She sounds upset at that!

I wish I could tell her that I was lying, that I do feel something for her even though I know I should never act on my feelings. I wish I could tell her that I don't know what it is, but there's something about her that I can't escape, that I will never get over.

I opt out of saying these things, though.

"Just… maybe we shouldn't hang out so much anymore," she states in what is barely louder than a whisper. I can tell that she didn't want to say that.

"Lulu," I state to get her to shut up and listen to me, before pausing for a minute to think about what I should say. Too much is running through my head right now.

"I'm not going to stay away from you," I say simply and matter-of-factly. It's not some grand gesture that's admitting my feelings… but it's going to have to due.

"Do you think you two are meant to be together? I mean, should it be _that_ hard?" she asks me, and I'm not quite sure how to answer.

"Honestly, I don't know," I whisper, when I so badly want to say I know it shouldn't be this hard.

She nods as she folds her arms across her chest, and it's quite easy to see she's still not very comfortable. "It's not your fault, Lulu," I say and completely mean it.

"No, Dillon… it is. I'm getting in the way of you two… and for what?" she says quietly, almost sounding defeated.

"Lulu," I speak softly as I grasp her arm with my hand and try to convey my thoughts.

"We should get home," she says and points to some direction that I'm not concerned about.

"Lu," I whisper, once again, using a personal nickname for her. She's looking into my eyes now, and I decide it's now or never. Slowly, my hand moves to her face and I brush her cheek lightly. I cup the side of her face lightly before touching her lips with mine.

I softly kiss her, my eyes flutter shut, and she's kissing me back. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but seconds later my tongue is begging entrance and we are both breathless in a passionate kiss.

I break apart from her and slightly gasp for air.

"Dillon!" she scolds in, once again, a very stressed voice. I shake my head quickly, and touch her lips lightly with my index finger before she has the chance to say anything. I look into her eyes, before planting another kiss on her.

**

* * *

**

I'm quite blinded the next morning as I turn over in my bed and am faced with bright rays of sunshine. I slap my hand to my head, quickly covering my eyes, and I remember I have to get up. I squint my eyes as I try to open them, and see that it is a little after ten.

We're meeting Spinelli today around eleven to talk about something involving Lulu's mom and the case. Oh crap. _Lulu!_

Immediately, I remember the past nights events. Lulu and I. Dinner. Talking. Kissing. Touching. It's all coming back to me. I was caught up in the moment, and quite honestly I'm not sure what to do. I think I just cheated on my girlfriend, with my ex-girlfriend.

But it's not like that. Lulu is important to me, but Georgie is too. I've been with Georgie for so long. For years now, I always thought my entire life was with her. Is that really worth giving up for a possibly doomed relationship with Lulu? As much as I hate to say it, I know it is.

I can't explain it, because honestly two weeks ago I didn't know I even felt this way. Lulu makes me feel. She's an amazing woman, and things feel so right with her. For awhile now, I realize that Georgie has been the safe one. Maybe I'm hiding with her, because it's so much safer for me.

But now I've taken the plunge. Lulu and I kissed, we continued to kiss until we were full on making out, and then we said goodnight. And now I have a decision to make.

I slowly pull myself out of bed and get into the shower.

I finish in the shower, get dressed, brush my teeth, and put on my shoes. I guess I'm ready to go. I get downstairs, and surprisingly I see that Lulu is ready and waiting for me. Usually, I'm the one waiting on her.

"Hey," I say, sensing a slight bit of awkwardness. I guess that should have been assumed. I can't even imagine what Lulu is thinking right now. Last time we were together… I really broke her heart.

She gives me a nod, and reaches for her jacket. She heads for the door, still without saying anything to me, and I decide we need to have this out before we meet Spinelli.

"Lulu!" I call, and she stops in the middle of opening the door. She turns around to me, and I'm suddenly at a loss for words. I can't make promises, and I can't tell her what is going to happen, all I can give her is what I know now.

I know this could turn out very badly, and I don't want to put either Lulu or Georgie through heartache, but I also don't want to write off last night like it was nothing. It wasn't.

I give Lulu a reassuring smile, before walking towards her and planting a soft kiss on her lips. It may not be a speech she's looking for, but it's all I've got right now.

"Are you okay?" I ask her after our lips break apart and I get my jacket. She nods her head, and I open door so we can leave for real this time.

"I thought you might regret what, you know, _happened_," she says to me, and I immediately shake my head.

"Of course not," I tell her, and we're on our way to meet Spinelli.

**

* * *

**

"But how does this help?" Lulu asks, and I turn to Spinelli for an answer. He's talking about things going on between Rick, Monica, and Alan four years ago. It's really nothing new, same old news. Maybe he'll come up with some ideas or something. Honestly, I think we've hit a dead end.

I hear Lulu's frustrated sigh as her forehead drops into her hands, and I rub her upper back lightly in support. I know this is really hard on her.

Lulu stands up from the rail she was standing against to support herself. We're at a new location this time. It's near the pier. She turns to me with an forced smile on her face that is easy for my to notice. She's trying to stay strong.

She's still managing the smile as she leans towards me. For some reason, I decide that here isn't the time and brush off her advance, just leaving a kiss on her cheek.

I can tell she's hurt, I see it in her eyes. I don't want to hurt her, that's never been my plan, but I don't know how I'm going to handle everything and I think it's best to keep a low profile.

I mouth an 'I'm sorry' to Lulu, but she looks away.

"I'm feeling a little sick, and we're getting nowhere," she starts, and I give a sigh as it's quite obvious that I upset her. "I think I'm gonna go home," she says and turns to leave. "Oh and thanks Spinelli," she mumbles and I'm left watching her retreating figure.

I let out a groan and turn towards Spinelli. "Are you sure there isn't anything we've missed?" I ask him, wishing there is something I can do to help her.

Spinelli is still watching the direction that Lulu left in. He turns to me, and then looks back that way. "Did you upset the blonde one?"

The look on his face seems to be of shock, and I decide this is a battle not worth fighting. I don't need to go into detail with him.

"Hey Spinelli, um I think I'm going to go, I'm kind of late to uhh, something," I tell him. My lips curve into a quick smile, and I hurry to get home.

**

* * *

**

A relieved sigh escapes my lips as I step into the living room and see Lulu sitting at one end of the love seat. I'm relieved that I easily found her, but not at the situation.

"Hey Lulu," I say softly as I make my way into the living room like a wild animal nearing it's prey. I know Lulu wouldn't do anything to hurt me, but I don't want to intrude on her personal space or make her any more upset.

"I'm sorry," I start, feeling like an apology is in order first. "It's just, I uhh, haven't talked to Georgie about anything and anyone could have seen us and-" I say and cut myself of, before going into a ramble. "Lulu, I'm sorry," I say, and sit down on the loveseat.

After almost a minute of silence, she still hasn't said anything, and I have to wonder if there is something else going on. I pull out the pillow that is separating us, and place it to my left. I scoot myself closer to Lulu, and wrap my arm around her, pulling her towards me. Her head is comfortably resting in between my shoulder and chest, and I think that I haven't felt this comfortable with someone in a long time.

"Come on," I whisper as I cup her chin. "What are you upset about?"

She sits up, removing herself from my grasp and sits at the end of the couch. She takes a few glances around the living room, keep silent for almost a half of a minute before she turns back to me.

"You're not going to break up with her," she tells me in a defeated tone, as though she knows how it's going to play out. She looks into my eyes for a few seconds, before letting out a sigh and leaving the living room.

Once again, I'm left to watching her walk away, and wishing I had said _something_.

**

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**

_I did a new thing with this story where I don't beg for reviews, but on this chapter I am going to. I want to know thoughts from **EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON**. who read this. Please. Just click that little button at the bottom. Type a couple sentences. Thanks._


	7. Trouble Sleeping

**Full of Grace**

**Author's Note: **This next installment is in Lulu's POV. Umm, not really much to say. Sorry it took so long. But anyways, I'd like you to all remember that nothing is perfect right? Even soap opera's. _There's a lot of setbacks before the really good things happen. _Things change quickly when you are in love with someone, even if you love someone else. **So just remember this. **

Anyone who's reading this, review please. Even a simple "it was great. UD soon." Or something longer telling me about what things you did and didn't like. Whatever it is, I need opinions. Umm so that's it.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own General Hospital, obviously, or this wonderful couple. Just this story.

**Chapter Seven: Trouble Sleeping**

I roll over to face my window. The small drops of water are slowly sliding down the glass surface. The precipitation outside is softly hitting my window every few seconds. I look over to my alarm clock, and focus on the bright red numbers relaying in my mind.

1:07. That's it. I've only been laying here for two hours. Then again, I have nothing to look forward to in the morning, so why am I wanting this night to end so badly? I can tell you. The images keep flashing through my head. Over and over and over.

I think, I come to a decision, and then I completely change my mind and go back to square one. It's pointless. I just want to fall asleep. I need a breather here. Letting out groans, tugging at my hair, and rolling my eyes has become enough. I need some sleep, but I just can't because it keeps replaying in my mind.

I looked to Dillon, receiving no words from him, and decide that's it. He won't break up with Georgie, and he shouldn't have to. I need to stop getting in their way. What kind of person am I, by doing this _twice_?

I heard a few shouts and calls from him, but before he could finish yelling out my full name, I was in my room and had slammed my door. It's been hours since then. I watched some TV, specifically Veronica Mars season one. I seriously love this chick. She's my idol.

I read a few pages in a book, thinking that maybe I should start focusing more on my studies. Disregarding them is one of the many reasons that I keep getting in these situations. I also painted, cleaned, and repainted my finger and toe nails. I've successfully avoided Dillon Quartermaine all day long.

It's been hours, and I still can't get to sleep.

I hear the slight tap on my door. I look over at it and realize that I didn't close it all the way, so it's obviously not locked. Seconds later, he hasn't come in yet. Usually, he'd just walk right in, but not now. I get up from my bed and make my way over to the door, slowly and carefully to not bump into anything in the dark.

I see a fraction of his dark form through the crack between the door and the doorway. I give him a defeated look, even though he probably can't see it, and I close and lock the door. I need to sit down and talk to him, for real, all cards on the table.

But I'm just so tired.

**

* * *

**

I look over to the clock for the second time. It reads 3:23, and I'm still not asleep. I need to do something about this… now.

I slowly but surely pull back my covers and climb out of my bed. I open my door and make my way down the hall quietly on the tips of my toes, as if I was going to wake someone. His door is open, even more so than mine was. He usually doesn't leave it open. Maybe he wanted me to come back.

I step into his room, and move closer to his bed. He's breathing lightly, and I can see his chest slowly rising and falling. He looks peaceful. I don't want to break that. I think about leaving, but decide against it. I slowly let myself sit down on the edge of his bed, and whisper his name.

He gives an incoherent mumble, rises up farther on his bed, and rubs at the edges of his eyes. After a few seconds, I hear him say, "Lulu?" His tone sounds as though he's seeing a ghost, that I'm not actually here. Well I am buddy, so snap out of it.

I look to his smile, and the way that his hair has gone into all sorts of directions. I lean in closer to him, and place my hand onto the bareness of his chest as he softly kisses me. Things grow more heated as the kiss deepens to a very passionate one and our hands begin roaming each other's bodies. I'm almost laying on top of him when I realize what we are doing and quickly stand up. He follows.

"I can't do this," I breathe out, practically gasping for air because of the thousands of thoughts running through my brain and the loss of oxygen only seconds ago. I hear him softly whisper my name, and ask me what's wrong. His hand slowly begins to caress the bottom of my shoulder and top of my arm.

Suddenly, I realize just how exposed I am. I'm wearing only a small pink tank top, with matching 'short shorts'. I run a hand through the few strands of hair that aren't in my messy bun, and let out a sigh. Dillon seems just as confused as I am.

He senses the shiver I let out, and pulls my to his chest. I rest my head against his collar bone, and let my body form with his. It's then that I finally realize what I've been thinking these past few months. I want him so badly, but not under these circumstances. Things need to be fair between all three of us.

I wipe the second tear that falls, the first had already landed on his bare skin. I wonder if he understands why I'm tearing up. It's this whole situation, combined with the thousands of other things that have happened between us.

I slowly retreat from him, and he reaches out to lightly grasp my arm, pulling me back to him. He starts to speak something, but I silence him with one chaste kiss and my index finger to his lip.

"I care about you so much, Dillon. I always have, and I always will. Things haven't changed since this morning, I'm saying I want to be with you. But you're with Georgie. I'm not going to be that lying, manipulative girl again… I can't be. So you have a choice. It's her or me. I won't hate you for it, but you have to decide," I tell him, finally gaining my composure to say the words I should have said this morning.

Actually, the things I should have said a couple months ago when this affair really began, in an emotional sense.

I give the best managed smile I can, and head for my room, closing his door behind me. Now, everything's out in the open. Dillon knows it all. What I feel, what I want, and he needs to decide what he wants.

I'm pretty freaking nervous. I can tell you that. I want him to want me too, but now maybe I can finally rest because I've done what I needed to do.

**

* * *

**

Against my own better judgment, I stop by Kelly's the next afternoon. If anyone asked, I would say it was because I was hungry for some of the good food. However, honestly, I went because I wanted to see Georgie. I don't plan on telling her what happened between Dillon and I, but for some twisted reason I have to see her.

Maybe Dillon's already talked to her. If she's sad, then I know that he picked me. I need to see her to make sure I did the right thing.

Who am I kidding? Of course I didn't do the right thing. I'm, possibly, tearing apart two people who have been together for years. They love each other. They were married. Who am I to think Dillon would pick me anyways?

Because I was pregnant with his child? No. Because I lied to him and manipulated him into being with me? No. Because he stood by me, against Georgie's protests, when I had nobody else? Maybe. Because I'm in love with him? Yes.

I'm in love with him. I'm in love with Dillon freaking Quartermaine, truly and completely. I have been for awhile, it just took me a long time to realize it.

Maybe it's a lost cause. Maybe I'm fighting for something that will never be mine. Maybe my mom will never return to us, my dad will always be away, and Dillon will never love me back. And maybe, just maybe, that's how things are supposed to be.

But I'm Lulu Spencer, I laugh in the face of danger. I don't back down, and I really don't give up. I fight. That's me, Lulu Spencer, a fighter. If I want my dad here, I'm going to get him to come home. If I want my mom with us, I'm never going to give up on her. And if I want Dillon, I'm not going to sit back and just _let _Georgie have him.

She's working today. She greets me with a smile, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I order fries and Dr. Pepper. She tells me it's coming right up, with a grin plastered all over her face. It's quite clear that he hasn't broken up with her. Now the question is… is he going to break up with her, or he's going to break things off with me?

The worst part about being in love with someone who might not love you back… wondering. It sucks to not have the answers.

**

* * *

**

I grasp at the fallen strands of hair and push them into my hair tie. I grab the tube of MAC lip gloss, and brush the liquid across my lips a couple times. I grab a small black jacket with white stars on it from my bed, and throw it on over my grey tank top. I grab my purse from my dresser, and hurry out of my room.

I'm going to see a movie. Yes, I'm going alone. That may sound pathetic… but I don't care. Besides, who would I go with? I have no friends. I want to go see a damn movie and I'm going see it.

I push around things in my purse, looking for my wallet as I walk down the hall. Before I even realize he's standing in front of me, I crash into him. I giggle softly as he mumbles "sorry" and jumps down to the floor to retrieve my things.

"It's okay. It was my fault," I tell him as I take my purse back from him and offer a smile. Okay, this is awkward. Completely and utterly awkward.

"I, uh, I'm going to the movies," I tell him absentmindedly and watch as he nods. "I mean, if you want to come," I further explain, and wish I hadn't. It'd be better if I hadn't ran into him in the first place.

"It's okay, I'm uh, I'm busy," he tells me, and I just nod. I wonder if he really is busy, or if he's trying to avoid an awkward situation.

Okay, so maybe I never should have told him to pick. Maybe we shouldn't have kissed in the first place. Things between Dillon and I are _never_ weird. The thing I love most about Dillon is that I can be comfortable with him… and now I'm not.

Should I just ask him? Should I just ask if he picked me or Georgie? Maybe he hasn't decided yet. What am I doing? I feel like a little school girl in junior high who asks out a boy in a note. It's been so long since I've felt butterflies flutter in my stomach like this.

I want to tell him this. I want to tell him that he makes me want to be that kind of girl. The kind of girl who embraces life and enjoys every second of it. I decide I might as well tell him everything that I feel. What do I have to lose?

I look up to his eyes, with a wide smile on my face, and it hits me. The wave of sadness and despair that escapes from him. It hits me, and I want to do nothing but lay in my bed and cry.

"You're staying with her?" I ask, almost afraid to let out the words. I feel like a thousand knives just flew into my stomach simultaneously. I was right, the boy I love doesn't love me back.

"I have to," he mumbles sadly. I can see it in his eyes. He doesn't want to tell me this, but he is. He isn't wishing for this, but it's happening. The one thing that keeps from wishing I was my mother about now, is that I can see in his eyes he _wants_ to pick me.

I see him reach out and touch my arm, but I'm running back into my room before his hand reaches me. I'm long over the movie. I plan on laying in my bed for the rest of the day, instead of braving the world. I'm entitled to that right? I get to be upset and cry for a couple hours.

The worst part, is that I, Lulu Spencer, have just given up.

Tears escape from my eyes and sobs come from mouth as I replay the words over and over in my head. _"I have to."_


End file.
